Editor’s note: Marianne Oehser is a longtime columnist with Rethinking65. Read more of her articles here.
Marianne Oehser
Retirement is often imagined as a time of freedom, adventure and relaxation. But for divorced retirees, it can feel more challenging. Without a built-in partner to share the journey, your client may wonder how to create a fulfilling and engaging retirement on their own. Your client may also be worried about the financial unknowns, especially if they are newly divorced and had expected to spend their retirement with a long-time spouse. Widows and widowers often share the same social and financial concerns.
The good news? This new chapter is theirs to design. With the right mindset and approach, it can be just as rewarding — if not more so — than they ever envisioned.
Key areas to focus on include:
Rewiring identity
Strengthening social and support networks
Easing loneliness
Considering relocation
Exploring new romantic relationships
Rewiring Your Identity
For many, careers shape a significant part of one’s identity. Retirement forces a reassessment of who they are beyond their professional roles.
Identity is a blend of values, strengths, motivations, roles, personality, interests, cultural background and upbringing. In the workplace, marital status is rarely a defining trait. But in retirement — where social interactions take center stage — it often becomes a factor in how someone perceives themselves and how they fit into predominantly coupled social circles.
Becoming comfortable as a single in a world that often revolves around couples requires some emotional adjustment. Encouraging clients to reflect on their core values and strengths can support them in the process of redefining their identity.
Strengthening Social and Support Networks
A strong social network is crucial for divorced retirees. Without the daily social interactions of a life partner, friends and family take on an even greater role.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest-running studies on happiness, found that the strength of social connections is a key determinant of well-being. Close relationships also have a significant impact on health and longevity.
Retirement often leads to a shrinking social circle as workplace relationships fade. One client shared, “I thought I had 200 good friends, but now only five respond to my calls or emails.”
Advisors can highlight the importance of staying connected and building new relationships in retirement. They can encourage clients to:
List current friends and identifying who they want to spend more time with
Distance themselves from relationships that drain their energy
Seek out new friendships through clubs or organizations that focus on activities, topics or causes they are interested in
A strong support network is also essential. These are the people one can turn to for emotional support or practical help, like a ride to the doctor. As an advisor, your role should be to educate your divorced clients about the need to have friends or relatives they can depend on for emotional as well as practical support. Encourage them to share the names and contact information of their support network with them. Helping clients recognize the value of a strong support network can encourage them to strengthen their relationships, which contributes to overall well-being in retirement.
Easing Loneliness
What if a client’s social network is small, and they have no clear interests? Many people, consumed by career demands, don’t have the time or energy to form new relationships or develop hobbies. This can leave them with few interests to turn to in retirement.
A lack of social engagement increases the risk of social isolation, which can lead to:
Higher rates of depression and anxiety
Cognitive decline
Weakened immune system
Greater risk of chronic diseases
Emphasize the benefits of your single clients staying socially engaged and taking steps to build connections in retirement. This will help them avoid loneliness. For introverts or those unsure where to start expanding their network of friends, vetted online communities can offer a safe environment for making new connections. Amintro is a trustworthy resource for retirees looking to expand their social circles.
Considering Relocation
Retirement offers the opportunity to explore new places, but relocating as a single retiree presents unique challenges. Ask clients whether they plan to stay where they live or are considering relocating. Encourage them to think about these issues:
Are they comfortable starting over in a new place alone?
Where are they thinking about moving to, and how much time have they spent there?
Do they already know anyone there?
Are they willing to actively build a new social network?
How far away will they be from family and close friends?
Will they have access to the support services they may need in the new location?
You should also ask whether they have considered the financial implications of relocating:
How much have they budgeted for the move?
How much will it cost to replace their home?
What is the difference in cost of living? If it is higher, can they afford to live there?
Have they budgeted for travel costs to visit friends and family where they currently live?
Beyond assessing the financial impact of the move, advisors can prompt clients to consider renting something for several months in the place they are considering relocating to. Living somewhere is a different experience than being there on vacation. This will enable them to evaluate factors such as social opportunities, support services, and resources like availability of libraries and classes before making a decision.
Moving can be exciting but should be carefully considered to ensure it enhances — not diminishes —one’s sense of belonging and well-being.
Exploring New Romantic Relationships
Retirement is a fresh start, and for some that includes the possibility of a new romantic relationship. With more time for socializing, dating can be an exciting prospect.
But there are risks with the dating scene. One of the big ones an advisor can help with is romance scams. Newly divorced or widowed women and men are especially vulnerable and often targets of this vicious crime.
Pat was in her late 60s and wanted to start a new life after her divorce. She was financially secure and had just finished a very successful career in HR. She considered herself a very good judge of people. But even she fell for a romance scam.
Scammers use social media and dating apps to find victims. They research their target victim’s social media posts to learn about their lives. They are experts at manipulating their victim’s trust.
Val was masterful. He created an elaborate web of lies that deeply ensnared Pat emotionally. She got angry with her sisters who knew something was wrong and tried to warn her.
In the end she bought his desperate plea for money and lost over $250,000.
Financial advisors play a crucial role in protecting clients from romance scams. Here are some ways you can help:
Recognize red flags: Identify unusual financial requests, such as large cash withdrawals or international wire transfers and question their legitimacy.
Educate clients: Inform clients about common tactics used in romance scams, such as fabricated sob stories or requests for money to cover emergencies.
Encourage caution: Advise clients to avoid sharing sensitive financial information or sending money to individuals they haven’t met in person. In almost all scams, the victim has never met the scammer in person.
Leverage anti-fraud measures: Financial institutions often have systems in place to detect and prevent fraudulent transactions, which advisors can utilize to protect their clients.
By combining vigilance, education and empathy, financial advisors can be a strong line of defense against these emotionally and financially devastating scams.
A Role for Financial Advisors
As a financial advisor, you play a key role in helping divorced retirees prepare for the broader challenges of retirement and avoid the risks. By acknowledging the emotional and social aspects of this transition, you provide deeper value and strengthen client relationships. Encouraging clients to think about their lifestyle, support networks and long-term goals ensures they retire with not only financial security but also a sense of purpose and social connection. Offering educational webinars, like the one we present on “flying solo,” can also raise your clients’ awareness of the issues and opportunities of moving into retirement alone.
Inspire your clients to view retirement not as an endpoint, but as a new beginning — one they have the power to shape into something truly rewarding.
For more than a decade, Marianne Oehser has been helping people live happy and fulfilling lives after their careers. She is co-founder and partner in Next Chapter Lifestyle Advisors. If you would like more information, contact Marianne Oehser at Marianne@NextChapterLifestyleAdvisors.com.
