There is a lot going on to occupy the attention of investors. Weather conditions, market movements, a political scene soon to come to a conclusion, worries about the economy and costs, and the list goes on. Whether your clients have $500k,000 or $50 million, they are likely watching, and worrying, about what might happen next.
The typical approach for an advisor is to soothe frayed nerves by showing the client how they are doing. No matter what happens, with the choices you are making on their behalf, they will “be fine.” In other words, advisors often answer a client’s emotional concern with facts, data and proof the person shouldn’t be worried! This doesn’t often work very well. If someone is emotional, showing them why they are wrong typically backfires. Logic never wins when someone is worried.
You, as an advisor, may be worried too.
What will all these issues worrying your clients mean not only to them but also to your business, and your focus on growth?” Meanwhile, trying to figure out ways to soothe and calm your clients may also be causing you sleepless nights. Being overtired and emotional can lead to making mistakes, or reacting in ways you might regret later.
The Biggest Risk
What’s the answer? You cannot fix what’s out there and causing the angst. You can do your best to run your plans, your portfolio and your business effectively — but what else is there?
Learning skills for how to de-stress is important but learning how to help your clients de-stress is imperative. If you continue to show them why they needn’t worry, or don’t acknowledge their emotions and concerns, you might find they don’t believe you understand them or take them seriously.
Tips for De-Stressing
Let’s look at ways you can get your stress under control, and stay calm and objective and then how to help your clients manage their concerns:
For You, the Advisor:
1. Doing the Basics Matter (Even Though It Sounds Corny)
I’ve talked to so many advisors who can’t find time for a workout, aren’t getting enough sleep, lie awake worrying about things and aren’t finding time for good meals. If you are not covering the bottom line of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, how in the world will you be strong for others?
Stop right now. Put what you need to do for yourself on your calendar. It isn’t going to happen with you just thinking about it and saying, “Yes, I need to do that!” Commit to whatever piece is missing. Do it now.
2. Watch Your Self-talk
I wrote a book on this topic and find myself talking with advisors about it in coaching on a regular basis. It doesn’t do you any good to tell stories about what could happen. Sure, our minds tend to focus on the “what ifs” during worrisome times. Instead try regulating your self-talk to be more objective.
For example, tell yourself, “I’ve been here before with markets in the past, and I’ll be here again.” “Clients are not mad at me; they are concerned about their own future.” “Things change, this is a period of time that will pass.” Whatever language is good for you, get it ready and shift your talk immediately so you don’t wallow in the negativity.
3. Have a Mantra
My favorite is “this too shall pass” because in reality life is fleeting. Whether it is the good times or the bad ones, nothing lasts. Focusing on being in the now is time-worn advice but few people accept it. Practice mindfulness several times throughout the day and use a mantra that works for you. Become aware of your surroundings, the position of your body and your thoughts. Choose to release and let go physically and use a mantra that is beneficial and helpful for you.
For Your Clients
1. Understand That Worry is An Emotion
Move from using a logical, fact-based approach to address worry and concern to understanding that worry is an emotion. Worry isn’t logical. It typically isn’t fact-based. All negative emotions, worry included, stem from fear. Clients fear loss. If they lose financially, it could mean they lose everything that’s important to them. They could lose their ability to care for their families, their reputation might suffer, they might ultimately die because they can’t pay for healthcare and doctors.
Sound dramatic? It is! Fear isn’t real, but it does run deep.
Instead of debating logic with a client who is stressed and worried, listen to what they are saying with empathy and try to understand the fear triggering their experience. Ask them some “worst case scenario” questions. For example, “I hear your concern and many people right now are worried about what’s coming next. When you think about your own situation, what worries you the most? While you know we are doing the best on your behalf, what if the market did take a downturn, what do you think this would mean for you?”
I know this sounds counter-intuitive — why would you ask your client to focus on a worst-case scenario that could mean you are not doing your job? It’s important to caveat these things by reminding the client that you are working on their behalf, but that you want to understand their concerns. The more they reveal about how they think, and what they feel about their financial situation, the better able you will be to communicate effectively.
2. Learn to Listen
Most advisors don’t want their clients to be concerned — it’s a natural reaction. However, when someone is worried or stressed or afraid, they might need to voice their experience. What often happens is that an advisor will hear a client concern, and then immediately have an answer for how to fix it. In many cases, advisors jump too quickly to solve rather than taking the time to truly understand the underlying consideration of the client.
Learning to listen is the biggest gift you can give. And if you can practice the art of reflective listening, even better. Reflective listening is when you hear a number of things someone is saying and then you do your best to capture all of it and relay it back to them. “If I am hearing you correctly you have said you are worried about the political environment and because of this … You also need to make some big decisions around refinancing . And you want your children to do … Have I captured this correctly?”
This sounds so easy but I’ve watched hundreds of advisors over the years, even in practice settings, where they miss much of what the client has said. If you need to jot down notes, do so, but it’s imperative also listen to what your client is sharing so you are able to show them you really do care.
3. Bring in an Expert
Help your clients de-stress by offering a webinar, a workshop or supportive advice during meetings. Acknowledge to clients this is a stressful time and many people feel uneasy. Bring in a mindfulness coach, a hypnotherapist or a self-help author to help guide your clients (and your team members) to better outcomes.
When you accept that stress is present, but offer to do something to “solve” for it that doesn’t involve Excel spreadsheets and portfolio allocations, you let your clients know you care about them as people. This also lets you show them that you are tuned in to their emotional reactions as much as their logical ones.
Not everyone likes communication and activities that might seem “touchy-feely,” but everyone benefits from it once they engage!
Beverly Flaxington, MBA, an investment industry veteran with over 30 years of experience, runs The Collaborative, a training, coaching and consulting firm devoted to business building for the financial services industry. The firm founded and manages the Advisors Sales Academy, and won the Wealthbriefing WealthTech award for Best Training Solution for 2022, 2023 and 2024. Beverly is also an adjunct professor at Suffolk University, teaching graduate students about leadership, managerial skills and team leading. She is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Values Analyst (CPVA).
