These are the words that described that dreadful morning 12 years ago on March 22. The chill in the air was palpable, the gray that winter had left behind had not yet lost its grip. My cell phone rang that morning upon my arrival at my office. It was my dad.
“Hey, dad,” I said.
“Tony! She’s dead! Pam … Mom. She did it. She committed suicide.”
Immediately, my legs gave way as his words pierced my heart.
My mom’s decision that day would change the course of history…
My mom, Pam Hixon, was a dedicated hospice nurse, a beacon of compassion and care. But as retirement approached, the light in her eyes dimmed.
She had prepared financially, diligently saving for retirement. But emotionally and spiritually, she was unprepared. Retirement left her adrift, lost in a sea of uncertainty.
The pain of her loss was unbearable, and for years, I struggled to make sense of it all. You see, my mom had made the decision to take her own life… and I was one of the financial advisors that gave her the green light to retire.
As I grappled with grief, I started to put together the pieces: my mom had retired without a clear sense of purpose. Despite being financially secure, she felt immense burnout and uncertainty, her days devoid of meaning and direction.
Memories and Lessons
But amidst the darkness, I found a glimmer of hope — a calling to turn tragedy into triumph.
And while time has distanced the wound caused by her loss, it will never distance the memories I have, or the lessons I’ve learned.
I know, now, the connection between retirement and purpose.
I know, now, the importance of meaning and significance.
I know, now, that looking just at the numbers before retirement stops short of the goal.
I know, now, that as financial advisors, we need to support clients as they transition to a more purpose-filled retirement.
Determined to honor my mom’s memory, Scott Miller, Certified Professional Retirement Coach, and I built The Refocus Coaching Academy, an online course that aims to reshape retirement planning for advisors nationwide. Our mission now serves as a tool to empower advisors with practical insights and guidance. Through the Academy, we aim to extend the impact of our years of research and content development, carrying forward my mother’s legacy and making a tangible difference in firms across the country.
And as I stand here today, I’m filled with a sense of gratitude and optimism. While the pain of loss will always be with me, I take solace in knowing that my mom’s legacy lives on through our work. Together, we’re turning sorrow into strength, despair into determination, and darkness into light.
There is a growing opportunity for financial advisory firms to broaden and deepen their client relationships — to satisfy and retain clients, and to attract and delight the next generation — by better understanding the changing needs and goals in our clients’ lives. It begins with meaningful conversations, probing beyond financial figures to understand their hopes, dreams, and fears for retirement. So how do you do this?
Start by Using Refocus Coaching’s Four Pillar Framework
Rediscover Your Client’s Uniqueness: Start by utilizing tools or having conversations that help to discover your client’s most important values. What are they? How do they align with the lifestyle they are living out TODAY?
Reorient & Repurpose: Ask about your client’s vision for retirement. What do they hope to achieve? What hobbies or passions bring them joy? Encourage them to envision a future that’s bigger than their past.
Promote Social Connections: Loneliness and isolation can be significant challenges in retirement. Encourage your clients to prioritize social connections and maintain meaningful relationships. Explore options for joining clubs, attending community events, or participating in group activities to foster a sense of belonging.
Help Your Client Leave a Legacy: Encourage your clients to contemplate the legacy they wish to leave behind. Explore their values, passions, and the impact they want to make on future generations. By empowering clients to leave a meaningful legacy, you guide them towards a retirement rich in significance and lasting impact.
By guiding our clients through these four pillars, we can help them embark on a retirement journey filled with purpose, meaning, and fulfillment. It’s a journey that transcends financial security—it’s about nurturing the soul and enriching the spirit.
So, financial advisors, I invite you to join us on this journey. Let’s rewrite the story of retirement— one filled with hope, happiness, and endless possibilities. Together, we can create a future where every client finds meaning and purpose. You don’t have to do it alone. The Refocus Coaching Academy has free resources and a full course dedicated in helping you with the non-financial aspects.
My mom was a nurse. Her profession was to help others. She cared for her patients well.
You and I, we’re financial advisors. Our profession is to help others. We care for our clients well.
Tony Hixon is co-founder and CEO of Hixon Zuercher Capital Management in Findlay, Ohio.
