When I was 25 years old, my grandma fell on the tile floor and broke her hip. Unfortunately, my grandmother was never able to recover from a broken hip due to a weak heart. She lived the last three years of her life using a wheelchair.
Even though I have an amazing support system, there were countless times during my caregiving journey when I wished I had a lifeline. To me, a lifeline means someone who:
• Will listen rather than judge.
• Can help me get respite care so I could get self-care.
• Will protect me from unexpected events.
• Consider my financial health in caregiving decisions.
As a financial advisor and a former family caregiver, I encourage other advisors to consider these steps to be a lifeline for family caregivers.
Help Without Asking
Many family caregivers need help but are afraid to ask. They may wear a brave face, insisting they don’t need it.
There were many times when I wanted to reach out for help but worried that I would burden others. It wasn’t until I practiced self-care and asked for help that I prioritized myself. Through this experience, I learned that practicing self-care isn’t something people are born with; it’s a learned skill people develop over time.
But what’s special about you is that as a financial advisor, you can lend a hand without a specific request. Here are simple acts of kindness that you can do to make a caregiver’s life easier:
• Offer to bring coffee and pastries to the next meeting.
• Provide a list of caregiver support groups or therapists.
• Give gift cards for self-care, like a massage or pedicure.
• Provide meal delivery services or prepare and deliver meals yourself.
• Share community resources, like Meals on Wheels or ride-sharing programs.
• Set up a meeting with a medical equipment specialist to evaluate care equipment.
Family caregivers often need a gentle nudge to know you are reliable and care about them. You can be the nudge that swoops in and makes their day brighter.
Get Grief Literacy Training
Oh boy, grief! I have had some hard conversations with clients, from the death of loved ones to complex health diagnoses to end-of-life care. Being a lifeline for family caregivers means carefully showing empathy in their time of need.
Grief literacy is not something many can learn overnight. I have learned that the more you practice and analyze what you say, the better you get.
Luckily, our industry has many great resources to help financial advisors with grief conversations. Kathi Balasek, Paula Harris, and Amy Florian have great resources for helping clients with grief.
To improve your communication, practice caregiving literacy. I have easy templates advisors can use to have these conversations.
Prepare For The Unexpected
While I was caregiving for my grandma, my health declined. I experienced back issues, hypertension and anxiety — uncommon diagnoses for a 25-year-old. But for caregivers, physical ailments and mental health issues can be common.
Even though my issues were not considered a health crisis, 30% of caregivers and 70% of caregivers over 70 die before their loved ones.
As financial advisors we are preparers. We are privileged to gather and safeguard vital information that will help prepare for the unexpected. What follows are some building blocks that you can use to help prepare clients who are caregivers.
Document Values and Goals
Advisors who know a client is a family caregiver can look at that as an opportunity to explore that client’s wishes. Please open the door and ask, “What is your caregiving experience like?” “If things were reversed, how would you want to be cared for, and how would you prepare?”
Revisit the client’s values and goals periodically to capture potential life changes or beliefs. Regularly review clients’ wishes, especially when it comes to their own medical care. That will allow you to help their loved ones make medical decisions on your client’s behalf if needed. Stay connected with clients; schedule quarterly check-ins (through email, phone calls, or in person) to address any concerns and follow up on any changes.
Develop a Long-Term Plan
Now is the time if you haven’t prepared a client for long-term care. Please don’t wait for a health decline to stress the importance of a long-term care plan.
A recent report found that 81% of people caring for a spouse with dementia felt somewhat or not at all prepared for their own health events, and 62% felt if they were hospitalized their spouse may not get adequate care. As a result, the study found, these caregivers may delay getting their own health care.
Please don’t let your clients be another one of these caregiver statistics. Help them prepare and plan so their options don’t become limited. For example, if your client wants long-term care insurance but waits too long, their own health issues may result in astronomical premiums or disqualify them from getting insurance altogether. If you don’t specialize in long-term care insurance policies, find a trusted long-term care specialist who can support your client in finding the best policy.
Develop a Trusted Contact List
It is easy to get carried away with a trusted contact list; however, I would at least have a list of POAs, estate attorneys, and trusted financial professionals. Depending on the client’s circumstances, you may want to add a list of those you shouldn’t contact.
For example, a client may not want someone on their trusted contact list due to family conflict, unreliability, not wanting to worry them, failure to handle complex situations, or being too far away to help in times of need.
Alternatively, you can ask clients to introduce you to their trusted contacts directly (while all is well. That way, if something goes wrong, you have already established a personal connection.
Protect their Financial Health
In my case, protecting my own financial health while being the family money manager was often tricky. Here’s why:
• I often went out to eat when my grandma was in the hospital.
• I had difficulty keeping track of my expenses and what needed to be reimbursed by my grandma.
• Therapy and doctor’s copays to treat my anxiety added up.
• I felt guilty asking my grandma to pitch in for gas money.
As a result of my experience, I give the following advice to my clients who are family caregivers.
Keep Money Separate
Even if your client and their loved one share most of their expenses, it is essential to have their finances separated. Consider creating two monthly budgets, one for your client and one for their loved one. A budget will help create awareness about how much they are paying out of pocket to care for their loved one.
If a client is paying more than they can handle, explore ways to ask for help through family members, social workers, financial professionals, community-based resources and government-subsidized programs.
Even though they may feel guilty asking for help, it is essential to point out that they are an adult with their own needs. Caregiving may be part of their journey now, but what will happen after caregiving ends?
Discover How They Can Get Paid
Providing unpaid care doesn’t mean your clients must sacrifice their financial health. Look into programs offered by Medicaid, Veterans Affairs and other government agencies to see if your clients qualify for financial support.
If your client’s family member has long-term-care or life insurance, the policy may allow your client to be paid as a caregiver. But read the insurance policy terms before assuming the policy will pay them for that work. If not, consider suggesting that they ask their loved one or a family member to help pay for their caregiving services.
Dream About Their Future
It’s common for caregivers to focus on their immediate needs but forget about their own future. You can play a crucial role in helping caregivers visualize and prepare for their life after caregiving.
Start by encouraging caregivers to dream about their future. Ask questions like, “What do you want your life to look like once your caregiving responsibilities are over?” and “What personal goals have you set aside that you’d like to revisit?” These questions can help caregivers shift their focus from the present challenges to future possibilities, fostering a sense of hope and direction.
Bottom Line
Caregiving is a demanding role that can significantly impact a person’s well-being. Financial advisors can be lifelines by offering empathy, preparing for unexpected events, and providing support. By addressing caregivers’ immediate needs and planning for their future, you can be the lifeline they need.
Danielle Miura, CFP, is the founder and financial planner of Spark Financials. She is dedicated to empowering family caregivers to manage their financial well-being while providing the best care for their families.
