Author’s note: As a financial advisor, you know that your clients’ past experiences deeply influence their present choices, especially when it comes to money. Understanding the intricate interplay between a client’s past experiences and present mindset is paramount. It’s not just about numbers and strategies; it’s about deciphering the narratives that often stem from deep-rooted beliefs ingrained in them during their formative years. In the following excerpt from my latest book, “Empowered You: Free Yourself from Generational Conditioning to Unleash Confidence, Happiness, and Resilience,” I delve into the profound impact of generational conditioning on individuals’ perceptions of life, work and money.
Life, Work and Money
In our modern society, money is a necessity, and the way to earn money has been primarily by working. Knowing our thoughts about life, work and money is vital to how we approach where we spend a significant amount of our time and energy, and how we live our lives. Early childhood messages about work and money can set us up to dread working to make a living, while the pressure to earn money can often make the primary focus of our lives earning money to survive.
A Historical Perspective
Two historical events shaped us as individuals and as a society in relation to life, work and money: the Industrial Revolution (1760-1840) and the Great Depression (1929-1939).
The Industrial Revolution significantly changed the way people lived and produced a world where productivity is highly valued. This has led us to pursue doing more, earning more, and having more. There is nothing wrong with being successful and productive. Where it becomes a problem is when individuals push themselves to the point of exhaustion, live in chronic stress, or when they are out of balance with the other areas of their life.
During the Great Depression, the worst economic downturn in the history of the industrialized world, consumer spending and investment dropped, causing steep declines in industrial output and employment.
Both the Industrial Revolution and the Great Depression profoundly affected our ancestors, with pressures and fears around productivity, job security, and an increased focus on money. Manufacturing and earnings became and continue to be the focus of so much of our lives that many view life as a grind. On top of having to work so much just to get by, the fear of not having enough money for basic needs affects many individuals and families.
The majority of our adult lives are spent working to earn money so that we can support ourselves to live. The messages you heard about having to work hard and not having enough can have a lasting impact on your thoughts and decisions about life, work, and money.
Messages about Life
- Life is a struggle.
- It’s a dog-eat-dog world.
- Life is hard, and then you die.
- It’s just the way it is, and there’s nothing you can do about it.
These messages create adults who may strive for success and struggle as they compete for what they want, or they do not even try because they don’t believe it is possible.
Barbara, a 55-year-old, said this about her life: “It feels like no matter what I do, I can’t get ahead.” She wondered if it had to do with growing up hearing her mother complain about how hard life was.
Messages about Work
- You have to work.
- Hard work pays off.
- Work before play.
- Homework and chores have to be done before you can play.
- You have to work hard if you want to make anything of your life.
These messages produce adults who tend to believe work is hard, not enjoyable, and something they must do whether they want to or not.
Megan, age 47, puts pressure on herself to succeed. She has been conditioned to push herself — ignoring physical signs in her body from the stress of doing too much.
Victoria, a 32-year-old woman, said, “I work so much I don’t have time to enjoy my life.”
Garrett, a 62-year-old man, shared an “aha” moment: “I know exactly why I get sick — to rest, stop, and do nothing. Otherwise, I would just work.”
Messages about Money
- We can’t afford that.
- Money doesn’t grow on trees.
- Money is the root of all evil.
- People with money use it to control others.
- Good people don’t have a lot of money.
Early childhood messages about money can create challenges in adulthood — everything from a lack of deserving and worthiness to how you view others who have money. A lack of money may spark feelings of jealousy or envy that could create an inner conflict when socializing or relating to others who are successful.
Jack, a 36-year-old, grew up hearing the message, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” when anyone in the family asked for a nonessential item. He could easily see how this message caused him to believe he would never have enough money, saying, “I have to work really hard just to get by.”
Caroline, age 44, heard the message, “We can’t afford it,” so often that as an adult, her automatic response when thinking of buying something is, “I can’t afford it.”
Sally, a 60-year-old, shared that she had been bad at managing money and felt embarrassed about not handling it well. She fears if she had more money, she would not be responsible with it.
Empower Your Clients to Overcome Generational Messages
Use the following questions to help your clients identify their beliefs that may be getting in the way of benefiting from working together to create an empowered financial future.
- What were the messages you heard about life, work and money during your childhood and young adulthood?
- In what ways have you been influenced by the messages you heard about life, work, and money?
- What effect have these messages had on your life? Job or career choices? Your financial decisions?
Ask your clients about their experiences as you learn to better understand and help them break free from old beliefs. This will pave the way for a more confident and resilient financial future.
Phyllis Ginsberg, M.A., MFT, has 30-plus years of experience as a counselor. She is an international speaker and bestselling author of three books: “Brain Makeover: A Weekly Guide to a Happier, Healthier, and More Abundant Life,” “Tired and Hungry No More: Not Your Ordinary Guide to Reclaiming Your Health and Happiness,” and “Empowered You: Free Yourself from Generational Conditioning to Unleash Confidence, Happiness, and Resilience. To learn more, visit her website. This article for Rethinking65 is based on a chapter in her book “Empowered You” and is printed with permission.
